Saturday, September 06, 2014

Farewell

I haven't written on my blog(s) for a long time. I am out of words. I have nothing new to say. Everything there is to say has been said already. I would repeat myself if I did say anything.

Lately, I decided to stop following the news about prostitution. I cancelled my email-alert subscription(s). I stopped following all the news. I don't read the forced prostitution verdicts on rechtspraak.nl anymore.

I try to break all the links I have with the world of prostitution. I silently hoped it would stop my regular visits to prostitutes. Perhaps I thought, it all has to do with the obsession. Guess what, it didn't work. Actually I'm planning to visit Eleni again on September 23, 2014. I will be happy to see her again when she comes back from vacation.

I keep saying to myself that if I have doubts about the conditions prostitutes work in, I should simply stop visiting prostitutes. Prostitution is not a necessity of life. I can do without. At least I can comfort myself with the thought that I need food for a living, so I have to care less for the workers (and other creatures) who work or who are being processed in the food industry. I do avoid animal products altogether. This is basically what I can do. I can't avoid buying food, but I can be somewhat selective regarding the food I buy. I can't totally avoid profiting from the abuse of other beings who work in the food industry or who are being processed in it, or regarding other essential industries for that matter, but I can lessen the damage by avoiding certain products.

I can totally avoid prostitutes. There is absolutely no valid reason to visit one, except for personal gratification, getting off on somebody else regardless of how this person feels about it. But I keep doing it. And I can't stop. Yes, many prostitutes are very friendly and patient, and at first there seems to be nothing wrong with the whole idea of prostitution. If prostitutes are not bothered by strange men touching their bodies, and if these men behave with care, then in theory there is nothing wrong. But obviously the reality could be different: forced prostitution (although it is difficult to gauge the true extent of this phenomenon), or economic necessity forcing people to do work which absolutely hurts them personally, I know, I know, I have been through that. And obviously it is not clear beforehand who are the 'voluntary' and who are the 'forced' prostitutes I know, I know .... and obviously I only want to visit the 'free' prostitutes and 'avoid' the 'involuntary' prostitutes (or do I?), I know I know, I have told a lot about it. No I don't agree with Maggie McNeill that people have the 'right' not to like their work. I believe people have the right not to be tortured. But I have said this already, I would be going in loops.

But this is a struggle I have to deal with myself. There is no use sharing it with the world. I have written about this issue multiple times on this blog, and now I am repeating myself again, so....

Anyway, farewell. There are other joys in life, and I try to pursue them now (... World of Warcraft, the Elder Scrolls Online, and such, hey, there are probably also people abused in the game/computer industry, haven't thought about that!! It is very difficult to be a righteous person. Oh, I could by cynical, haven't I told that a lot? How cynical I was?). Wish me good luck.

I won't remove my blog, everything can be found on the wayback machine anyway. I hope people will find something useful on this blog.

Goodbye.

11 comments:

Andy said...

It has been a pleasure...I'll continue to come back from time to time and catch up on what I have missed. Thank you!

Donkey said...

Thank you!!!

Cliente X said...

Donkey, how do u earn ur living? Bcause I cant understand how u keep thinking those things and u have so big trouble with ur free time. If u were a busy person u wouldnt have so spare time.

If u want to stop abuses, use of force and coercion... have u tough any time in avoiding taxes? Biggest pimp everywhere is the public sector, so the priority to any person who loves freedom is to not feed it.

Donkey said...

I don't work, cliente X. The biggest pimp pays me instead of the other way around.

You speak the libertarian language. What you say is what libertarians believe. That is, abolish the goverment, and everything will be fine, the free market will take care of everything, and people will miraculously become altruistic.

But I don't believe that.

Anonymous said...

Donkey,

Do you remember when you referred to prostitution as a "noble profession"?

I hope you respect sex workers and accept that their work has value. It is a great shame that they are so unappreciated by society.

Donkey said...

Yes, I said prostitution is a noble profession, and I want to believe it. But is so difficult to do that. Lately I accidentally saw a short Belgian television report about prostitution in Germany. You can find it here:

Click here

A Romanian prostitute was interviewed who started working in prostitution four years ago. She fled away from home because she was sexually abused. She said her first day as a prostitute was like a nightmare. She had sex with seven men. She never forgets the number. She said it was disgusting. And she also says that most prostitutes have a pimp. You can find her short interview between approximately 4:52 – 5:49.

Another example. In the documentary ‘Red Light Blues’ former police officer Joep de Groot is interviewed. He knew many prostitutes on de Wallen. He worked in the neighborhood for 35 years. He was a community officer for 30 years. His goal was to know everybody in the neighborhood. You can find the documentary here:

Red Light Blues

Between 46:58 and 50:22 he is interviewed. He says of all the many prostitutes he knew only three or four liked to work in prostitution, for most is the was money, circumstances, “that kind of stuff”. He says most of the prostitutes, quite a lot of prostitutes, hate men.

Perhaps it is not exactly true what he says, but there seem to be prostitutes who don’t think of their profession as quite noble, and they certainly don’t appreciate their work.

Eleni seems to be the exception. She told me once that a client asked her if they could have sex with the curtains open, so everybody could see it. He wanted to pay a lot of money for it. She didn’t do it because it was forbidden. I asked if she would have done it if it wasn’t forbidden. She said yes, because she says that everybody has penises and vaginas, also the people who are looking.

I think she is very open-minded, and this is what I like about her. But I don’t know what she really thinks of me, and this really nags at me. Obviously I am just a client, and I pay her well. Perhaps she finds me a big asshole, and perhaps she is just nice to me because I pay her well.

I asked her how clients behaved towards her. She says that clients are always nice to her, and she was able to filter out the bad guys.

I asked Frits Rouvoet about what Eleni says. He is a Christian social worked on de Wallen, and he also knows many prostitutes. He said to me that for prostitutes customers are king. She just says what I want to hear. He said that butchers all know that pig meat and horse meat are mixed illegally, but they don’t say that to the customers!!

He could be right. For all I know I am just abusing a poor agonized woman, and she just allows it because she desperately needs my money, while absolutely abhorring the sex with me. She lately complained about an inflamed ovary and that I had to be careful. I later wondered why she simply didn’t take a day off.

Anonymous said...

"Perhaps it is not exactly true what he says, but there seem to be prostitutes who don’t think of their profession as quite noble, and they certainly don’t appreciate their work."

That is because prostitutes are part of society, so of course if the noble profession lacks prestige in the Netherlands, it will be reflected in many providers. But, you did write that Bulgarian prostitutes (and others) see it as work, just as valuable as any other sort of work. And there still much to be done with clients to remind them to always be clean, respectful and generous.

Anonymous said...

"He could be right. For all I know I am just abusing a poor agonized woman, and she just allows it because she desperately needs my money, while absolutely abhorring the sex with me."

Okay. This comes back to what you were saying about a girlfriend disliking sex with her boyfriend or a wife disliking sex with her husband. In life, people do what gives them the best opportunity to get what they want; it might be money, time, independence, attention whatever - no option is 100% ideal all of the time for everyone.

If it really bothers you that much, you could give them the money without having sex with them.

Donkey said...

I was thinking about that! I could just visit Eleni and chat with her for 45 minutes, and then leave. I notice that I like the verbal contact with her more than the sexual contact.

But then still.... I see her as a good friend, but how does she see me? Perhaps she merely sees me as a cash-cow whom you should keep busy for a while, before you kick him out.

And it also makes me wonder why I pay just to be friends with a person. Why can't I do the same without paying? I don't have the guts in real life, but somehow when I pay I don't feel that restraint with Eleni. I dare to do things while visiting prostitutes which I don't dare to do with other people. I think because the contact with prostitutes is anonymous. They don't know you, and you don't know them.

May I ask you a question? Are you Maggie McNeill?

Anonymous said...

No, I am not Maggie McNeill.

Obviously I don't know how Eleni sees you. It depends. Some clients are annoying, some are nice, and some are forgettable.

In general, sex workers prefer respectful and non-demanding clients. So, if you are like that, she may like you.

But, sex work is not intended to be a replacement for having friends.

Donkey said...

I have said to Eleni that I think about stopping. I said to her that I feel bad about it. I told her that I like to visit her because she is so open-minded. I told her that some prostitutes feel really bad about the sex they have with clients. She told me that she is kind to clients and then they will come back. So that says it all.

I told her that I cheered when the Zandpad closed, and that I would cheer if all the brothels in the Netherlands were closed. She really looked at me with her eyes wide open. I said to her I was crazy. And then we said goodbye to each other.

By the way, are you a prostitute yourself?