Sunday, June 26, 2011

:'-(

Failed.

She was 33 and Greek.

She was very friendly.

The s was good.

I am so stupid.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Struggling

Main

Okay, right now I have the strong urge to go that stupidious Red Light District again in Amsterdam. I could constrain myself. But this is totally silly.

What do I actually like about visiting prostitutes? It is not the sex. In my opinion sex is boring. What I like is the process of choosing and the attention I get from girls while doing that. I walk passed the windows and think: hey, I could do that one. She smiles and tries to lure me in. All those women who want to have sex me! This is paradise! And then I think: no, I don't choose her. I try to find something better. And then I see another girl that I also reject. And then I start fantasizing about a girl I rejected earlier on. The excitement is building up. Is she still there? I walk passed her window again. No. This goes on and on and on, until I make the decision to approach a girl and step in. And then it's over. Often I struggle to get sexually excited and have an orgasm. I don't like sex. I don't like visiting prostitutes, I like choosing, I like the excitement of choosing, the attention. And I go home with a very bad feeling.

The window prostitutes in Amsterdam are struggling, they get only a few clients nowadays. Some prostitutes work whole day in bed but sleep on the streets at night, according to Frits Rouvoet, a Christian social worker. He hands out food-parcels to prostitutes because they can't get enough to eat. This is also true for prostitutes who don't have to hand over money to pimps.

This is a very strange situation. Many prostitutes don't earn much money at all. They are effectively beggars. How should this be solved? Should men visit prostitutes more often to help them this way? Are clients development agents? On the other hand, using these women sexually would be equal to abusing my power to force a person in need into having sex with me.

I'm not a rapist. I won't be ever again. I will keep my mind under control.

Poverty is a big problem. A big problem to solve. But not this way.

See the next article for the source about the starving sex workers:
Hoertjes hebben honger (spitsnieuws, 3 June 2011)

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

A Croatian forced prostitute and a Dutch dominatrix

Main

In my next installment I dig up the book “Uit het leven - De wereld van de Amsterdamse Wallen” written by Rob van Hulst, published in 1993. Rob van Hulst was also an actor who played in a Dutch soap called ‘medisch centrum west’. He later specialized in giving field trips with tourist on de Wallen in Amsterdam. So, he also published a book, and he interviewed many people: a policeman, the adopted daughter of the doctor, a brothel owner, etc…. But also 2 prostitutes.

I will tell about the 2 prostitutes.

One of the prostitutes is a former victim of human trafficking. The other is a dominatrix called lucifera. Lucifera is Dutch found a place to live in what turned out to be in the area of de Wallen. She developed some good contacts with the prostitutes who lived below her. She did the groceries for them, buying condoms and kitchen paper. She had no job (she worked as a cook before) and then after a couple of months decided to work in prostitution. The first evening was very shocking for her. All those eyes were pointed at her. That was worse than her first client. She wanted to run away. After the first day it went better, then followed a hardening process. Hundreds of visitors of de Wallen, of whom most are tourist, walk passed the windows and leer into the windows as if the girls are pieces of art in a museum. Some stand still as if they watch a painting and then talk with each other about the girl. During the summer, when the windows are ajar, the prostitutes can literally hear what is said. Late in the evening when the pubs are closed the drunk’s remarks are remarkable. “You are too old, too fat, too skinny, you don’t look good, you must go to a museum”, and even cruder remarks. Also female passers-by participate in that. After a couple of months she switched to SM. She likes her job (beating up guys ;).

The other interviewed prostitute is Lydia, was 26 (when she was interviewed), and born in Split in Croatia. She works on de Wallen of Amsterdam since 1987. She departed to the Netherlands after her boyfriend died in a motor accident. She hoped she could forget her grief and start a new life. The ex-boyfriend of her sister, whose family had a restaurant in the Netherlands, brought her with him. She didn’t know better than that she was going to work in a restaurant. After arriving in Amsterdam she saw girls sitting behind the window. As naïve as she then was she didn’t know what the girls did there. She asked the ex-boyfriend of her sister what those girls did and he said they were mannequin. She believed that. He also said that the men who went in there were probably their boyfriends. Two days later she also was one of the “models” behind the window. She didn’t want it herself, but he had her passport, so she had no choice.

This is what I don’t understand. Why are people so afraid when their passports are taken? I would say: go to the embassy!!!!!!! They’ll arrange that! Or let the police do the work for you and extradite you to the country of origin.

Lydia ended up in the hands of a pimp. He locked her up in her room and took all the money she earned. An older lady, aunt D., who looked a lot like her mother and whom she trusted, saved money for her. Aunt D. said that everything she earned extra she had to do in a separate envelope. She then deposited it on a bank account for Lydia. Lydia still has very good contact with her. Lydia always gives her presents on her birthday or during holidays.

Aunt D. lived above Lydia and could hear that the pimp whom she worked for battered her. She said something about that. She has worked two years for him, then she went to the police office on the Warmoestraat and they really helped her well there. After he went away she started to work for herself. Of the first 1500 guilders she earned she bought a beautiful cat.

In the beginning she found the work in prostitution very difficult. In Croatia she has never dealt with prostitutes. She had a very protected upbringing. In the meantime she has become highly seasoned in her work and has become a real business woman. She chooses her clients, it is her body.
Once she stopped for four months because her boyfriend didn’t like that she worked in prostitution. But she missed her work. Not only the money, but also the contacts with the other girls, and because there always happens something on de Wallen.

She also plays in porn films. She earns reasonably and she spends her money on cars and motorbikes. The man whom she works for took the best years of her life. She wants to live, have fun and go the discotheques. Her mother always learned to keep on fighting to go on. She is the one who gives her strength.

End of story.

Okay, that’s it for a while!!!! I cannot keep to my oath. I have no time, very tired, my mind and my body. I think I can get my thoughts under control now. I just have to feel pity for them, understand them, feel sorry for them, and accept a life without a woman. There are other beautiful things in life worth my attention.